I blame the ref.
Over the last few years running the Legends football team, I have become used to receiving a text or email on a Sunday morning from one of our brave brethren withdrawing from the fixture in the face of broken toe nail (McEwan) or other similar ailments that afflict we men of a certain age.
But yesterday was a new one on me, with the ref contacting me to cry off. I tried several possible replacements, but for some reason no-one I knew wanted to take up the offer of policing 24 old blokes at 9 in the morning (old time). No ref equals no game, so the only solution was for yours truly to take the whistle and, no doubt, responsibility for the four goals we conceded. (I have a theory (excuse?) that football doesn’t really want perfect referees as, if every decision was correct, and known to be correct, players and managers would have to take responsibility for their own faults, failings and shortcomings.)
But I digress.
The tale of today’s game begins last Wednesday, following the Staff v Leavers game when our very own Prince Charming – aka Michael Gorman – was seen trying to reunite a single boot with its owner but, alas, his Cinderella was to allude him and this morning Jack Jarvis elected to play with his one good boot and another that had seen better days. But it did not hamper his twinkle toes as he danced his way across the pitch (until being brutally, and unceremoniously felled by one of the ugly sisters on the edge of the box.)
Three young (all terms are relative) men attained legend status by making their debuts: early doors, wide on the left flank, Ben Percival shimmied past his opposite number, and drove infield. He saw the path to goal clear in front of him, he saw glory as he unleashed his shot, he saw the ball sail … harmlessly past the goal. Tempted by the promises of watching some tigers on the prowl, our answer to Gareth Bale made his first (and, sadly, last?) appearance in a Millfield shirt, yellow boots bright against the green, green grass of home. And rocking a rather fetching combo of white boots teamed with purple socks, Steve DuPlessis proved himself a valuable utility player – playing in pretty much every position on the pitch, including two successful spells in goal.
And we mustn’t forget our faithful fans – it was great to see the Legend’s Legend Geoff Cottell once again turning up to watch and support us.
As the final whistle blows on the season, one is reminded of Jigme Singye Wangchuck, the fourth King of Bhutan.
In the seventies he (wisely) declared that national happiness is more important than GDP. We may not have finished top of the table, we may have conceded more than we scored, we may have not won a match. I haven’t kept count, but I reckon circa 25 veterans have enjoyed a game or few of football this season, and if you have enjoyed it, then job done. Thank you for your time and support this season – it has been a journey made wonderful by the companions who have travelled it with me.
